We have had quite a week here. Sitting here on my last day of solo parenting before hubby comes home from his business trip later tonight, I’m at a bit of a loss as to what to do with my little family unit to pass the day. Right now, endless movies for them and a day hiding under the covers for me sounds absolutely delightful. However, even if I had the best of intentions, my kids are wanting a bit more than just tv all day (i.e. they want to be fed as well…).
Without going into tons of detail, we seem to be once again facing a medical crisis in the family. These are nothing new for us, unfortunately, but what we’re navigating right now is truly infuriating and to be perfectly honest, I’m having a really tough time keeping a good “Christian” attitude throughout each new development (or lack thereof). Mostly, I just want to make heads roll and scream like the crazy lady I become on too little sleep and too little coffee.
Simply put: we are in the middle of a political nightmare. The care needed is being denied because the hospital and doctor involved don’t want to risk possible liability if death results. I can appreciate a conservative approach vs a surgical cowboy who just wants to open someone up for no good reason because let’s face it, life and death are ends of the spectrum you don’t want to dance with unless you are absolutely positive you know the steps involved. The problem here, and what is essentially making my blood boil is that amidst this extreme conservatism, there is a 100% chance of death with no treatment. And for the past few days, while semantics are being argued, no one has come up with another treatment option because there isn’t one at this point.
Enter frustration and helplessness.
Watching a loved one suffer needlessly is hard. This is not a new song and dance for us but the way it plays on emotions is something that doesn’t get easier. Ever.
Knowing that we are helpless to do anything more than pray for miracles and acceptance of the circumstances as they are is tough. Trust is tricky and in these situations, faith is trickier. We’re doing a lot of both right now and praying that somewhere in this mess, a solution can be found before the bureaucratic tape we’re surrounded by strangles us.