How to Justify that Second Cup of Coffee

If left to my own devices, I would drink coffee all day. I love it. Love, love, love, love, love it. It’s my one and true bosom buddy. We go way back, coffee and I and though I’ve strayed, coffee understands that it’s never by choice and knows that I’ll always come running back.

Over the years, I’ve drastically cut down my coffee consumption. There really can be too much of a good thing. Even too much of a great thing. Sad, but true. I used to drink close to a pot of coffee a day. Gradually, I’ve reduced that to a cup a day max. It’s just better for me overall. I still get the pleasure of my coffee ritual but am not going to the point that I’m jittery and nervous sweating all day. And then there’s the sleep factor…

Occasionally, I will indulge in a second cup. For me, it’s really a slippery slope and I try not to do it often. I have to earn that second cup. Yesterday…I most certainly did. What I had really earned was a big, dreamy glass of wine (also near and dear to my heart) but once you travel down the rope of day-drinking (especially when you’re a parent of young kids who have the ability to break you on an hourly basis)….well…you get it.

Rather than give the long, drawn out version of my massive kitchen fail yesterday, I’ll give you the point form Coles notes version an let you fill in the spaces yourselves…

Steps to earning a second cup of coffee:

  1. Decide you’re going become <insert homemaking guru of choice> and make 5 loaves of banana bread to finally use up the frozen bananas hoarding space in your freezer.
  2. Decide that you’re going to make a gluten-free loaf and a regular loaf to share at church mom’s group the next day.
  3. Pat self of back for thinking of others and experimenting with gluten-free flour.
  4. Further pat self on back for remembering to buy disposable bread pans to reduce chances of forgetting a nicer pan at church, causing several rounds of face-palming sudden moment of mom-brain.
  5. Remember that forgetting/losing a bread pan is better than forgetting/losing a child at church. I’m not confirming or denying that this has ever happened to me…
  6. Prep first two loaves and place in oven while children play angelically in the next room.
  7. 20 minutes later, smell burning sugar.
  8. 20:30 minutes later, notice smoke billowing out of oven as both loaves are currently overflowing said disposable bread pans and burning to the racks and bottom of the oven.
  9. Open all windows and turn off all smoke detectors while fanning smoke out the window.
  10. Remove loaves, which now qualify as being “smoked bread” and marvel at the burnt outside and completely uncooked inside.
  11. Dispose of loaves whilst deciding whether to laugh or cry over the tragedy (not to mention the awful smell in the house).
  12. Decide that store-bought treats from the bakery will have to suffice as oven will now need a massive cleaning.
  13. Make second cup of coffee.
  14. Forget the last hour ever happened.

Any questions?

Stay thirsty my friends.