Well…it’s been another long hiatus since I was last on here. Truthfully, I hadn’t really noticed the time away. In all honesty, the break has likely been a good thing. I’ve needed time to refocus, start focusing and continue to focus on other things. I’m not going to make some fluffy remark about how I’ve been building memories with my family as though we’ve had some massive breakthrough in parenting and in our day to day that’s all of the sudden provided crystal clear clarity about all the why’s and how’s of life. We haven’t. Yes, we’ve made some good memories together this summer and had some pretty awesome adventures and milestones but I won’t pretend that we also haven’t had struggles, boredom and busyness as well.
We’ve been living life. Plain and simple. The ups and downs are the same and I’m totally okay with that because we’re living as authentically as we know how. Sometimes we get it right, but more often than we (I) care to admit, we get it wrong and learn from it.
I’ve missed writing here. I love writing, I always have. I love words. I don’t like grammar so much (clearly evident to anyone who reads this) but let’s not get lost in the little details 🙂 Truthfully, as much as I love writing and as much as I love words, I simply no longer have any to put down anywhere. For whatever reason, my words have taken a hiatus. I’m honestly not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing but either way, it is the reality I have been sitting in for many many many months. I’d come to sit and write and the words I had intended to put down would disappear before they had a chance to take form. I suppose the professionals would call this writer’s block but then, I’ve never really considered myself a writer so I leave my condition without name or definition.
To be clear, I’m not in a bad place or anything like that. I think I’m just in a long season of needing to step away from this whole writing thing and seeing what happens next. I honestly don’t know that I’ll be back. I would love to be because I truly feel that I have much more to say, but now isn’t the time to try and say it (not that I have any clue what “it” actually is so you’ll just have to trust me. I also kind of have to trust myself, ha ha). But I have a sense that the words that are building up inside are far deeper than I’m ready to acknowledge and verbalize. Maybe one day, they’ll come and I’ll feel released to share but right now, I think they need to remain hidden for a time yet to be determined. It’s entirely possible that they’ll never surface but only God really and truly knows the answer to that.
So for now, consider this my adieu to this whole writing thing. I could be back next week, next month, 2 years from now or never. For the couple of you who have made it this far with me, thanks for joining me on the ride! There has been so much growing, discovering, surrendering and struggling, more than could ever fill this tiny, insignificant venue. But the journey hasn’t been without reward, joy, peace and excitement so at the end of the day, I can’t really complain.
I hope our paths will cross again. I pray that if and when they do, there will be words. Not mine but His. In the meantime, know that I will be continuing on my journey of self-discovery, growth, family, faith and good health. I pray that you will be as well.